Preparation H - the New Novocain

This story is just too hysterical to keep it to myself.  My grandfather is 92 years old (going on 93 this May) and for the first time in his life he's been having a problem with hemorrhoids.  

He asked my mom to pick him up some Preparation H, but had no idea how it worked or how to use it.  In his first attempt to ease his pain he tried opening the bottle with his fingers, but couldn't get the protective foil off.  He was also too embarrassed to ask anyone to help him with this, so he resorted to a less than desirable method.  (Please keep in mind that his motor control is still quite good considering his age, but not like it used to be)  Apparently he was applying pressure to the tube when he triumphantly ripped the foil off with his teeth!  He ended up with a mouthful of the soothing cream and a numb tongue for the rest of the day.  

What's the moral of this story?  Either learn to ask for help, or keep blunders this funny away from people with access to the web and blog sites :)  Thank god he won't know about me posting this.  

Vegetable Lasagna

Prepare vegetables: Heat oven to 450 degrees F.

3 small bell peppers (1 red, 1 yellow, 1 orange)- cut into 1 inch squares

1 zucchini- sliced

2 small summer squash- sliced

1 (8)oz package fresh sliced mushrooms

1 medium onion sliced into 8 wedges

-Coat a large baking pan with a thin layer of olive oil

-Spread vegetables in a single layer across pan

-Sprinkle with 1/2 tsp. salt and 1/4 tsp. pepper

-Bake uncovered for 25 minutes, turn vegetables over once (until tender)

Prepare lasagna (12) noodles as directed

Use homemade or jar sauce of choice (2.5-3 cups)

Set aside:

4 cups shredded mozzarella cheese

16 oz ricotta cheese

1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley

Reduce oven temp to 400 degrees F:

Use a 13x9 inch glass baking dish and coat with olive oil (thin layer)

Spread 1/3 cup sauce on bottom of baking dish

*Top with 3 noodles, place 3/4 cup sauce on noodles, 1/3 of vegetables, 1/3 of ricotta.Repeat this process two more times* Finally place last 3 noodles on top. Top with mozzarella and sprinkle with chopped fresh parsley.

Bake uncovered for 25 minutes or until hot.

Serves 5-6

Did you know?

The recommended amount of sleep to get every night is 7-9 hours.

Health Tip

• People should get 30-60 minutes of exercise most days of the week.  This does not include work or house work.
  

Try This Recipe!!! Fast, healthy,& cheap!

Tortellini and Spinach Soup

Start to finish time approx. 15 minutes!

Place all ingredients below in a large pot on stovetop:

1 lb. frozen cheese tortellini

1 lb. frozen cut leaf spinach

1 48 oz. can low sodium chicken broth

24 oz. water

1/4 cup parmesan cheese

1/4 tsp. crushed red pepper

1/2 tsp. black pepper

Heat on medium-high and shut off as soon as it comes to a boil.  Enjoy!!!

Serves: 4-6

*May top with additional crushed red pepper and parmesan cheese to taste!